Sorry for the not so beautiful blog post.  I'm just having one of those
moments where I'm more focused on sharing my real life than giving the
impression it's picture perfect.

 

I’ve spent nearly everyday of the last 1,482 days with one common question.

 

How can I as mommy to Angel Baby Seth

make his life mean something to the world?

 

 

 

Enjoying Seth’s 4th Birthday cupcakes. Wish you could be here to celebrate. Just know that Mr. D ate plenty of cupcake tops for both of you.

I’ve been pondering and planning even on my darkest days.  I’ve dreamt big.  I’ve dared to welcome his siblings into the unknown future.  Imagined leaving a career I love to make an impact closest to my heart.  I’ve doubted myself.  I’ve believed in things I couldn’t see.  I’ve even imagined ways to share his impact with the world on the very days I welcomed his baby brother and sister into my arms.  I’ve talked to friends.  I’ve shared my aha moments. I’ve cried more tears than any parent should.

I’ve wondered and worried why don’t I have a purpose yet?  Why haven’t I woken in the wee hours of the night with a vision? …{like this rockstar mom to Baby Christian}…  How am I supposed to know how WE can help this world? Sure I’m trying to be the best mom I can be to his brother and sister.  I’m such a better parent thanks to our Angel Baby!  Yet I still long for more… something bigger.

I’ve been scared of doing the wrong thing.  I’ve been in awe of so many inspirational parents who are sharing their storiesmaking a movie, honoring an angel baby and I wonder if I can make a difference.  Can I honor Seth the way he deserves?  I’ve discovered over the last four years each day I spend wondering or worrying is a day I’m not focused on honoring and helping others.  It’s a wasted day that didn’t give Seth anything!  My heart cries out… just do it!

And to be quite honest with myself …{and with you}… I know I’m capable, I know we’ll do something great!  I pray Seth will be proud.

Though I still have many of the same questions I’m no longer as worried about finding the answers as I am about sharing the journey with you… with the world.  I will make his brief life noticed, honored and even more loved.   Welcome to the new us!

Please get this journey moving… share our story with a friend.  You can help us to break the silence!

I’ll leave you with this beautiful image from CarlyMarie.

An amazing site lovingly created by a mom to honor the legacy of her son Christian.

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