…{This post was originally written in October of 2015.  I hope that you can find encouragement in my reflections on the quest to recognize that I am be enough and so are you.}…

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Why is it that during many of the biggest moments of our children’s young lives that we moms feel so compelled to reach for an image of perfection that’s practically unattainable and leaves us feeling like we’ve failed.  Okay so yeah that’s a lot right there but stick with me.

Halloween .. Birthday Parties .. Christmas Traditions .. Epic Family Vacations

Times like these we as parents strive to remind our children that they are enough and that they are loved.  It’s easy to get completely caught up in the doing while losing sight of the end goal to show them your love.  Yet through these efforts to impress (ourselves, our kids and our neighbors) moms regularly feel inadequate.  How can we assure our children that they are enough without seeing it in ourselves?  Can we fully teach self-confidence without modeling it?

I believe that we can, if we make a shift and use what we see as imperfections to teach our children about rediscovering that we too are enough.  In our secret meltdowns over half-finished costumes and birthday invitations that don’t fit into envelopes we have an opportunity to step back.   To recognize that we’re spending our energy comparing ourselves rather than being satisfied with who we are and all that we do.  I must have spent hours on pinterest exploring R2D2 and rose costumes changing my plan based on how everyone else created theirs.  I’m will have an important conversation with my little ones.

“Last night I stayed up all the way until the morning trying to make R2D2 look just like the pictures I saw on the computer.  I just wanted it to be perfect for you.  After I spent so long working on it I realized that I was thinking too much about how other people did their costumes and not how we could use our imaginations to make our own.  Do you ever do things one way just to be like everyone else?”

I’m getting better at offering an apology after I lose my temper with my littles.  I know this can give them an important example of humility.  Likewise I have to hope that showing them a vulnerable mom who feels inadequate will give them tools to step back when their lives are hard.  Spotlighting moments when I lose my cool or feel inadequate may just give them insight to one day see that they too are enough.dsc_0081

I’ve come to realize that my anxieties with pinterest worthy parties and school snacks comes straight from my need to show my children that they are loved enough.  Yet in doing so I’m ignoring how valuable self-love is.  Instead I’m showing them a shining example of how comparing myself to others stifles my creativity and self-confidence.  Clearly this isn’t my goal!  So as I imperfectly wrap up this Halloween I vow to step back to be mindful of these comparisons.  I’ll show my littles that to be human is to be unique.  To be creative we must free our minds of harmful comparisons.

It goes without saying you ARE enough!

414 thoughts on “Halloween: One Moms Reflection

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