still a fairytale

Sunflower Peekaboo in Seth’s Garden


Six years ago this very moment my husband and I looked teary-eyed at our computer searching for a fitting name for our first baby.  We had been debating names for months.  In our fairy tale life we would have had another 85 days of expectant bliss to decide.  Sadly that wasn’t our reality.  We’d been thrust into a world of sadness we didn’t even know could exist.  July 29th, 2009 we received the most devastating news any parent can get.  “I’m sorry to have to tell you but your baby has died.”  To be honest I don’t even know if that’s how they said ‘it’ or for that matter who said ‘it’ but you get the point… NO fairy tale ending here!  I remember moments of those early days trying to comprehend what had happened to our precious child.  grief quote-with-imageJuly 29th we got the news.  We went home called our families and cried our eyes out.  We just rested there in our dark room curtains drawn as the clouds cried with us for days.

July 30th We ached.  Every ounce of my body ached still holding so strongly onto my baby I just couldn’t imagine how I would survive letting this life go.  We walked at our favorite local boardwalk.  Along a peaceful nature trail.  I worried that someone would ask when I was due surely that would be my undoing.  No one asked.  Later Brent re-proposed to me promising to love me despite all of this worry and sadness.

July 31st started early. We drove an empty car.  No car seat, no baby bag, no blanket, no camera {If you know anyone ever whose going to the hospital to have a stillborn or sick baby please encourage them to take along baby stuff!} Even just a toy or book, a camera, a blanket, an outfit… something!  We brought none of the beautiful snugly baby items we’d just received at our shower days before.  We didn’t know it was okay to bring stuff.  We must have talked on the drive but all I can recall is silence.  We agreed to take the long road so we didn’t have to relive this drive past the hospital.  Make this drive different from our everyday commute.

This is a different day one that we needed to embrace and love despite its harsh edges!

Most people would assume the story only got darker and more heart-wrenching from that moment on.  Somehow we mustered the strength to embrace the day and share teary-eyed forced smiles.  We loved!  After a full and painful labor our baby became our first son, Seth Alexander Danega.  Sure he was born still but he was STILL born.  He still lived, he is still one of my children, and he is still an amazing part of our lives!  He’s the reason I ached to welcome his little siblings.  He’s the reason I’ve worked to create My sOnflower.  He’s the reason I must carry on and share his story.  He’s one of the reasons I’m still so in love with his daddy!  He’s the reason I’m the daydreaming momma I am today. 🙂  Our time in that delivery room could have become a memory of agony and heartache but instead we choose to see his beauty and our love!  Go love on your babies dear one!  More posts to come about the ways we’ve chosen to embrace the love of our son Seth who was STILL born!  Tomorrow we have a 6th birthday to celebrate.

i choose joy

Please don’t read this and take away sorrow or sadness take away a message of loving unconditionally even when it’s hard.  Go do something wonderful today!

1,204 thoughts on “STILL a Fairy Tale

  1. Pingback: quick cash loans
  2. Pingback: bitly
  3. Pingback: viagra
  4. Pingback: buy viagra com
  5. Pingback: Yeezy Boost 350
  6. Pingback: milwaukee 2401
  7. Pingback: MLB Jerseys
  8. Pingback: mtb bedst i test
  9. Pingback: Yeezy
  10. Pingback: samsung f枚n
  11. Pingback:
  12. Pingback: viagra dosage
  13. Pingback: protective outfit
  14. Pingback: cialis 20 mg
  15. Pingback: vestidos blancos
  16. Pingback: jungen hosen 134
  17. Pingback: slot games online
  18. Pingback: basecap herren
  19. Pingback: firme de papuci
  20. Pingback: bamboe blouse rood
  21. Pingback: smooth glide
  22. Pingback: buy levitra online
  23. Pingback: adidas vak
  24. Pingback: vardenafil 20 mg
  25. Pingback: cialis generic
  26. Pingback: nike 831069
  27. Pingback: doba revija zarja
  28. Pingback: levitra online
  29. Pingback: diamante trilogy 0
  30. Pingback: Cialis in usa
  31. Pingback: cialis 5mg
  32. Pingback: style de casquette
  33. Pingback: robe marron beige
  34. Pingback: NBA Jerseys
  35. Pingback: cialis coupon
  36. Pingback: cialis generic
  37. Pingback: cheap viagra
  38. Pingback: viagra coupon
  39. Pingback: viagra generic
  40. Pingback: viagra price
  41. Pingback: viagra 100mg
  42. Pingback:
  43. Pingback: online meds for ed
  44. Pingback: ballkleider billig
  45. Pingback: cialis visa
  46. Pingback: online pharmacy
  47. Pingback: terrex snow adidas
  48. Pingback: fitness pristroje
  49. Pingback: mikul谩s sapka
  50. Pingback:
  51. Pingback: elipso smart tv
  52. Pingback: clark vinterjakke
  53. Pingback: h氓ndtag k酶b
  54. Pingback: eastpak arancione
  55. Pingback: 3 aluminium 32 cm
  56. Pingback: breil jewels
  57. Pingback: jakkes忙t vest
  58. Pingback: cialis generic
  59. Pingback: buy tadalafil
  60. Pingback: botas de converse
  61. Pingback: face shield rab eu
  62. Pingback: ternet badeshorts
  63. Pingback: fait main crochet
  64. Pingback: lebron 11 size 4
  65. Pingback: Adidas Yeezy
  66. Pingback: masca kloof
  67. Pingback: Kobe Bryant Jersey
  68. Pingback: Nike Shoes
  69. Pingback: hot women in bras
  70. Pingback: giubbotto nero
  71. Pingback: Yeezy
  72. Pingback: camisa do lil pump
  73. Pingback: MLB Shop
  74. Pingback: sup拧 bechyn臎
  75. Pingback: Nike Outlet
  76. Pingback: cat tr枚ja
  77. Pingback: new balance 369
  78. Pingback: Nike Outlet
  79. Pingback: Yeezy Shoes
  80. Pingback: Pandora Charms
  81. Pingback: viagra
  82. Pingback: sm氓 hudlapper
  83. Pingback: tadalafil 20 mg
  84. Pingback: NFL Jerseys
  85. Pingback: Yeezy
  86. Pingback: Human Races
  87. Pingback: flerpack trosor
  88. Pingback: Nike Air Max 97
  89. Pingback: Yeezy Mafia
  90. Pingback: Canada Pharmacy
  91. Pingback: viagra 100mg
  92. Pingback: Yeezy Supply
  93. Pingback: p谩nske bundy
  94. Pingback: cialis online
  95. Pingback: viagra 50mg
  96. Pingback: Nike Outlet Online
  97. Pingback: cheap kaletra
  98. Pingback: Nike Outlet
  99. Pingback: generic viagra
  100. Pingback: cialis in walmart
  101. Pingback: ski hla膷e akcija
  102. Pingback: cialis prices
  103. Pingback: uzsidoboz
  104. Pingback: viagra online
  105. Pingback: cialis generic
  106. Pingback: guess borse zaino
  107. Pingback: cbd
  108. Pingback: ty枚k盲sineet
  109. Pingback: album on line
  110. Pingback: mizuno jpx ez 2015
  111. Pingback: reflexne nohavice
  112. Pingback: viagra cialis
  113. Pingback: air force af1
  114. Pingback: viagra
  115. Pingback: buy viagra online
  116. Pingback: marsupio fusalp
  117. Pingback: viagra generic
  118. Pingback: ha il trolley
  119. Pingback: tchibo porzellan
  120. Pingback: djoker onlajn
  121. Pingback: Air Max 270
  122. Pingback: viagra online
  123. Pingback: pitbull cane costo
  124. Pingback: film doktor_liza
  125. Pingback: viagra for sale
  126. Pingback: NBA Jerseys
  127. Pingback: Yeezy
  128. Pingback: Usa viagra sales
  129. Pingback: Pandora Outlet
  130. Pingback: cialis 5mg price
  131. Pingback: Yeezy 350
  132. Pingback: Yeezy
  133. Pingback: Adidas Yeezy
  134. Pingback: levitra
  135. Pingback: generic viagra
  136. Pingback: discount cialis
  137. Pingback: Pandora Jewelry
  138. Pingback: sykkeljakke herre
  139. Pingback: jerseys ni帽as
  140. Pingback: Human Races
  141. Pingback: Bijoux Pandora
  142. Pingback: Nike Outlet Store
  143. Pingback: Uggs Official Site
  144. Pingback: Yeezy
  145. Pingback: Yeezys
  146. Pingback: Viagra or viagra
  147. Pingback: Yeezy 380
  148. Pingback: Cheap NBA Jerseys
  149. Pingback: Yeezy 700
  150. Pingback: Nike Shoes
  151. Pingback: buy cialis pills
  152. Pingback: Pandora Charms
  153. Pingback: PSYCHOSOCIAL
  154. Pingback: bear vinterjakke
  155. Pingback: cialis 5 mg
  156. Pingback: nmd inspiration
  157. Pingback: coronavirus
  158. Pingback: psyhelp_on_line
  159. Pingback: cialis online
  160. Pingback: psiholog
  161. Pingback: viagra
  162. Pingback: nike sandals etsy
  163. Pingback: sildenafil
  164. Pingback: buy viagra
  165. Pingback: sildenafil citrate
  166. Pingback: air max a 50 euro
  167. Pingback: cialis generic
  168. Pingback: cialis
  169. Pingback: japan ultra boost
  170. Pingback: khaki green blazer
  171. Pingback: canadian pharmacy
  172. Pingback: online pharmacy
  173. Pingback: poster dot bunny
  174. Pingback: boty s membr谩nou
  175. Pingback: film t-34
  176. Pingback: strelcov 2020
  177. Pingback: jeans damen wei脽
  178. Pingback: cialis pills
  179. Pingback: levitra
  180. Pingback: buy cialis cheap
  181. Pingback: generic viagra
  182. Pingback: viagra pills
  183. Pingback: cialis
  184. Pingback: zimn铆 bundy 2018
  185. Pingback: buy cialis
  186. Pingback:
  187. Pingback: viagra alternative
  188. Pingback: order viagra
  189. Pingback: boty spd
  190. Pingback: cialis 20mg
  191. Pingback: generic cialis
  192. Pingback: jcp vestiti misses
  193. Pingback: lebron james shoes
  194. Pingback: monet butterfly
  195. Pingback: astrolog
  196. Pingback: ¯jak Son³k
  197. Pingback: work out t shirts
  198. Pingback: +
  199. Pingback: viagra online
  200. Pingback: viagra
  201. Pingback: DSmlka
  202. Pingback: rosso box felpa
  203. Pingback: vk 2020
  204. Pingback: pod-vodoi
  205. Pingback: led-2
  206. Pingback: The-Gentlemen
  207. Pingback: dunk low sb
  208. Pingback: nuove superfly
  209. Pingback: koma 2020
  210. Pingback: chanel snapback
  211. Pingback: human-design-space
  212. Pingback: dizajn cheloveka
  213. Pingback: human design
  214. Pingback: slim rider jacket
  215. Pingback: tiny china animals
  216. Pingback: saint laurent woc
  217. Pingback: vivid jordan 12
  218. Pingback: Film 2021
  219. Pingback: Film 2020
  220. Pingback: Film
  221. Pingback: 1plus1
  222. Pingback: #1plus1
  223. Pingback:
  224. Pingback:
  225. Pingback:
  226. Pingback:
  227. Pingback: s9 plus zooocase
  228. Pingback: Watch+movies+2020
  229. Pingback: Dailymotion
  230. Pingback: serial 2020
  231. Pingback: girls 3 in 1
  232. Pingback: china jogging suit
  233. Pingback: гдз 1
  234. Pingback: Dollface-Season-1
  235. Pingback: Evil-Season-4
  236. Pingback: Evil-Season-3
  237. Pingback: Evil-Season-2
  238. Pingback: Evil-Season-1
  239. Pingback: See-Season-1
  240. Pingback:
  241. Pingback:
  242. Pingback:
  243. Pingback:
  244. Pingback:
  245. Pingback:
  246. Pingback: 1 seriya
  247. Pingback: bofilm
  248. Pingback: LostFilm HD 720
  249. Pingback: kinosmotretonline
  250. Pingback: HDrezka
  251. Pingback: movies hdrezka
  252. Pingback: dorama hdrezka
  253. Pingback: one size
  254. Pingback:
  255. Pingback: serial
  256. Pingback: kinokrad-2019
  257. Pingback: filmy-kinokrad
  258. Pingback: Kinokrad
  259. Pingback: Watch TV Shows
  260. Pingback: laptop asztal
  261. Pingback:
  262. Pingback: Video
  263. Pingback: 2020
  264. Pingback: HD-720
  265. Pingback: ++++++
  266. Pingback: watch
  267. Pingback: +1+
  268. Pingback:
  269. Pingback: tureckie_serialy
  270. Pingback: hs;br
  271. Pingback:
  272. Pingback: canada pharmacy
  273. Pingback: tadalafil 5mg
  274. Pingback: tadalafil
  275. Pingback: online pharmacies
  276. Pingback: pharmacy
  277. Pingback: viagra 100mg
  278. Pingback: online viagra
  279. Pingback: viagra pills
  280. Pingback: vardenafil
  281. Pingback: levitra generico
  282. Pingback: Generic cialis
  283. Pingback: Viagra 5 mg
  284. Pingback: Viagra daily
  285. Hi Erica, thanks for sharing. I sat here reading this with a photograph of my sweet Adelaide Jane Randall, our still born daughter, sitting on the shelf in front of me. It brought tears of joy and love to my eyes to read about your son. The precious gifts of love and life. They blessed us if only for a too short time.

    • Hi Sarah, thanks for reading and sharing about Adelaide Jane. You’re absolutely right that their existence is such a special blessing even if just for a fleeting moment. Thinking of you and your dear Adelaide!

...{please consider leaving a comment}...